Gravity
by cmaddict
Summary: Addisoncentric. With one single incident, everything in Addison's world changes. In one second, gravity takes over. Terrible summary, I know. Please review!
1. Working Against Me

A/N: So I have no idea where I got the inspiration for this story, but this is a little something I'm attempting because I basically have no life during the summer. It's a little more than slightly AU because I couldn't think of another reason for Addison to be giddy. The song for this chapter is "Gravity" by John Mayer, and I might use other songs with the word "gravity" in them later, depending on how long I can stretch it out. Since this is something new for me, I'd love some feedback, and reviews make me extremely happy. Oh, and the italics are flashbacks, just so you know.

Disclaimer: Yeah, the only things that belong to me are the computer I'm typing this on and my original character. Don't rub it in.

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_**Gravity is working against me And gravity wants to bring me down**_

"It's just a beautiful day, isn't it?" Dr. Addison Montgomery gushed. She leaned against the wall of one of Seattle Grace's elevators and sighed. "Sunny, not a hint of rain in the air." She grinned. "I love Seattle."

Her ex-husband, Dr. Derek Shepherd, glared at her. "All right, who are you and what have you done with my ex-wife?"

"You know, not even you can ruin my day today, Derek. I'm bright and shiny, because for the first time, everything is going my way."

Derek raised an eyebrow at her. "I think in the fifteen years I've known you, you've never said something like that."

"I mean, seriously, I'm flying high."

He chuckled. "You're high on something."

"I'm defying gravity."

"Defying reality."

"I seriously love Seattle."

"Since when?"

Addison grinned at him. "Since we're being civil and Mark went back to New York."

"Really?"

Addison nodded enthusiastically. "Left this morning. Said he couldn't stand Seattle rain. Said, and I quote, 'Screw Seattle.'"

Derek smiled. "That is a reason to be bright and shiny. So what are you going to with the surgeries you've got planned?"

"Surgeries? You mean the C-section and hysterectomy?" Addison pushed a strand of red hair out of her face. "Piece of cake for a neonatal surgeon of my caliber."

"Uh-huh. We'll have to see about that," Derek replied as the elevator doors slid open.

"Seriously, Derek, you check back with me at lunch and I'll tell you that I'm still incredibly, irreversibly happy."

"I'll do that," he said, smiling as he turned left to go to his office. "Hey, if you see Meredith, tell her I need to see her."

Addison turned around. "See, normally, a comment like that would bother me, but not today!"

"Yeah, okay, just pass on the message."

"Whatever you say, Dr. Shepherd!" Addison grinned as she turned around and headed toward her office. She tossed her bag to the floor and put her coat on the hook that graced the wall of her office, replacing the coat with her white lab coat. For once she was proud to wearing the Seattle Grace logo, because now the man that had made her last year and half a living hell was gone. She smiled to herself at that thought as she grabbed some charts off her desk.

She exited her office and nearly bumped into Dr. Miranda Bailey, who was taking her group of "suck-ups" on their rounds. "Good morning, Dr. Bailey," she greeted the feisty resident cheerfully.

Dr. Bailey scowled at her. "It isn't quite a good morning yet, Dr. Montgomery."

Addison turned to walk with Bailey and her interns, who were snickering behind her back. "Oh, did someone have a rough morning?"

"Someone had a rough night," Alex Karev whispered to Izzie Stevens. Izzie fell into a fit of giggles.

Addison turned to look at him. "You're lucky it's a good day, Karev," she said, giving him a withering look. "You're still in my service." That earned a groan from the intern.

Addison glanced at Meredith Grey. "Oh, Grey, Shepherd said he wanted to see you in his office."

Meredith looked at Bailey for permission, trying unsuccessfully to mask the eagerness in her eyes.

Bailey rolled her eyes. "Go, and tell Shepherd we need him for a consult in 1312."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Consult?"

"Yeah, we haven't done a CAT scan yet, but it's not looking good." Bailey grabbed some charts as they walked by another nurses' station. "If you're interested, you're welcome to stop by."

Addison glanced at her watch. "Yeah, I've gotta be in surgery in a couple of hours, but if you're heading there now, I can certainly take a look." She looked back at Karev and Stevens. "Karev, Stevens, prep Mrs. Higgins in 1236 for her hysterectomy." Alex rolled his eyes as Izzie grabbed his sleeve and pulled him toward the elevators.

"Dr. Bailey," Cristina Yang piped up from behind Addison. "Burke's doing a double-bypass on a patient with pectus excavatum. Can I…?"

"If you don't, you'll give me hell for the rest of the week, so go!" Bailey snapped.

Addison suppressed a smile as Yang ran off. "Now, Miranda, is it really necessary to yell at her like that?"

Bailey looked at her sharply. "You're not _that_ far removed from your residency! And what's got you in such a damn good mood this morning?"

"Well, it just might have something to do with the fact that Mark has finally gone back to New York," Addison replied with a grin.

"Seriously?" George O'Malley spoke up from behind them, his voice cracking slightly in surprise. "Dr. Sloan went back to New York?"

"Yep," Addison replied. "Making my life so much better. No more transcontinental booty calls." She turned to glare at George. "That doesn't get repeated."

"No ma'am," he replied sheepishly.

They soon rounded the corner to take them to Room 1312. As expected, Derek and Meredith weren't there yet, so the three doctors opened the door to the room. "O'Malley, give the report," Bailey said, going to the opposite side of the bed.

"Christopher Hatcher, age nineteen, complaining of severe headaches, nausea, and dizziness. Checked himself in when the headaches got too bad."

Bailey glanced over at Addison, who had stayed in the doorway. The attending surgeon had a look of shock and utter disbelief frozen on her face. Bailey looked back at pale young man in the hospital bed. His blue eyes never left Addison's face. "Dr. Montgomery?" she asked.

Addison wasn't listening. Her mind had traveled to twenty-one years before.

"_C'mon, Addie, it's just a frat party," Elizabeth Nelson said as she curled one last piece of brown hair._

"_Nuh-uh," eighteen-year-old Addison Montgomery shook her head at her roommate. "College is for studying, not partying."_

"_Please, Addie." Liz looked at her with her big blue eyes and a pout on her face. "Just one party. You can get caught up on studying tomorrow morning."_

"_Look, we've only been here two weeks. I don't wanna get behind."_

_Liz put down the curling iron and moved to stand behind her roommate, looking at their reflection in the mirror. "You won't get behind. Besides, I bet I can make that hair look absolutely gorgeous." She ran her fingers through Addison's flaming hair._

"_I bet you can't," she replied, grinning at Liz._

"_If I do, will you go with me?"_

_Addison sighed resignedly. "Fine. I'll go."_

_Liz clapped her hands in delight. "I'll make you look so beautiful, Addison. You never know who we might meet."_

"_Maybe the loves of our lives," she replied, looking up at Liz with a twinkle in her eye._

"_Maybe." Liz smiled. "Keep still."_

"Dr. Montgomery?" Bailey's voice broke into her thoughts, shaking her out of her reverie.

She moved into the room, still completely shocked.

The boy in the bed with Liz's eyes grinned at her. "It's been a long time, Addie."

_**Oh, gravity is working against me **__**And gravity wants to bring me down.**_

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So should I continue? What did ya'll think? Reviews make me happy!


	2. Throw It All Away

**A/N: Okay, hopefully this chapter will shed a little light on the previous one while maintaining a little bit of suspense, since I like to do that. I uploaded once, but I don't think it worked, but this is the same stuff. No Addek here either, it's just them being civil, so don't get your hopes up too high. Thanks for your reviews... they make me happy. Keep leaving them so I can be even happier!!! **

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Bailey looked back and forth between the doctor and patient, a confused look on her face. O'Malley stared at Bailey, trying to figure out the best way to get out of this. "Well," Bailey said finally, clearing her throat. "I think I heard my pager, did you hear it, O'Malley?"

George shook his head, confused. "No, I didn't hear anything."

"Ya did now. Out!" George complied immediately, and Bailey shut the door behind her, leaving Addison alone with the patient.

He grinned at her again. "I don't remember ever seeing you speechless."

Addison took a deep breath and moved further into the room. "I don't remember you getting this big, Chris."

"It's been, what, four years?"

She smiled. "At least." Addison sat down on the edge of his bed and picked up his chart. She put on her reading glasses and flipped the chart open. The sound of Chris chuckling softly caused her to look up from the chart. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing." He smiled, obviously trying to keep from laughing.

"You'd better tell me now, Chris Hatcher." She tried unsuccessfully to look stern.

Chris laughed loudly. "You remember the first time I came over to your apartment back in New York?"

Addison laughed. "How could I forget?"

_Hearing a knock at her door, Addison ran out of the bathroom of her tiny New York apartment. "Coming!" she called. She made sure all of the little items on her floor were put up high, out of a child's reach, then she opened the door._

_Rob Hatcher gave her a half-smile as he ushered the toddler into the room. "Thanks so much, Addie. The hospital asked me to pull extra shifts at the hospital."_

"_Not a problem, Rob. Chris and I are gonna have a blast, aren't we?" she asked as she bent down to his level._

"_I two year ol', Aun' Addie," he said proudly as he held up three fingers._

_Addison laughed as she pushed down one of his fingers. "You're a big boy, now, aren't you?"_

_The little boy gave her a wide grin. "I hungry."_

"_Well, I'll get you some food in a couple of minutes. 'Aladdin' is in the TV if you wanna…"_

"_Yay!" His deep blue eyes danced in delight as he ran toward Addison's bedroom._

_Addison turned toward Rob, giving him a smile. It faded when Rob didn't respond in kind. "Are you sure you're okay?"_

_Rob's eyes never left the floor. "I'm fine," he said, trying to sound convinced. "I'll need you to take care of him for a couple of days."_

"_Days?" Addison shook her head. "I've got to study for my MCAT, and I've got literature to go through…"_

"_Look, can't you do this one small favor for me?" he shouted suddenly as Addison jumped. He shook his head, looking at her apologetically. "I'm… I'll be back in a couple of days." With that, he left her apartment, leaving her to stand there stunned._

_A toilet flush startled her, followed by an "Uh-oh!" Addison rolled her eyes. "Wonderful."_

Addison shook her head, laughing at the memory. "I still can't believe you flushed my glasses down the toilet."

"It was your fault for leaving them there," he shot back, giving her a wide grin.

She chuckled softly, turning back to his chart. "You never told me what you were doing here in Seattle. I thought you were still in New York."

"I was." He shifted in the bed. "You're the closest thing I've ever had to family, Addie. I wanted to come see you. I heard about you and Derek."

She laughed mirthlessly, still studying his chart. "Who hasn't? I guess you're an adult now, so you can make your own life decisions."

He grinned. "Damn right." He pushed himself up in the bed, allowing his back to rest against the pillow. His expression morphed into worry. "They'll find out what's wrong with me, right?"

Addison put her hand on top of his. "Derek is one of the best. If anyone can find out, he will."

A soft knock at the door interrupted them. Derek's face registered surprise as he and Meredith entered the tiny room. "Chris?" he asked incredulously.

Chris grinned. "Betcha didn't expect to see me here."

"That's the understatement of the year." Derek shook his head slightly as Addison handed him the chart. Derek took a minute to study it. "Headaches and dizziness, huh?"

Chris nodded. "For about three weeks. I came in when it didn't go away."

"Nausea too?" Derek frowned at Chris's affirmation. "Dr. Grey?"

Meredith took a deep breath. "Could be any number of things. Virus, hematoma… the possibilities are numerous."

"And how would you continue?"

Meredith didn't miss a beat. "CT scan, complete blood work-up, urinalysis."

Derek nodded. "Good. Get started." He glanced at Chris. "I'll be back soon. Dr. Montgomery, can I speak to you outside?" He opened the door and stepped out in the hallway.

Addison smiled at Chris. "I have a surgery, but I'll be back soon." She followed Derek into the hall, leaving Meredith alone with Chris.

After she shut the door, Addison looked at Derek inquiringly.

He shook his head in answer to her silent question. "I won't know until after the CT scan and labs."

"But it doesn't look good?"

Derek hesitatingly put his hand on her shoulder. "I don't know." He cocked his head to the side, looking into her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Addison shook her head. "No." She kept eye contact with him. "He's family, Derek."

Derek gave her a reassuring smile. "And I'll treat him like that." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I'll come back and check on him later." He smiled at her and walked off toward the nurses' station.

"Yeah," Addison whispered. She put her hand on the door, and her mind traveled back in time again.

"_Oh, Addie, he's absolutely amazing!" Liz gushed as she twirled around their tiny dorm room._

_Addison was curled up on her bed, giggling. "Admit it. You've fallen hard. For a frat boy."_

_Liz glared at Addison. "Rob Hatcher is not a typical frat boy." Her glare faltered, and she grinned._

"_Oh, you're absolutely smitten."_

_Liz fell on the bed next to Addison and looked up at her. "Seriously, Addie. I think I'm in love."_

"_No kidding." Addison grinned at her as Liz slapped her lightly on the arm._

"_Promise me, you'll be in my wedding?"_

_Addison wrapped an arm around her roommate. "You bet." She smiled at her. "After I'm done with med school and you have your masters, we'll be neighbors, and our kids are gonna play together. We'll be family."_

"_Family." Liz grinned as she grasped Addison's arm. "I like that. Sisters forever?"_

_Addison smiled and held her friend close. "Sisters forever."_

Addison leaned her head against the doorway and struggled to hold back tears. "Sisters forever," she whispered.

_**Oh I'll never know what makes this man**_

_**With all the love that his heart can stand**_

_**Dream of ways to throw it all away**_


	3. Twice As Much

**A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed! Hopefully this chapter will explain everything. Btw-- since people keep asking me this, this really isn't going to be a shippy sort of story. Just friendships all around. I might write another romance after this, but this isn't going to have any sort of "ship" in it. Anyways, keep the reviews coming! They make me write faster!**

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"Hey," Meredith said as she plopped into a chair next to Cristina in the hospital's cafeteria.

George, Izzie, and Alex nodded at her in greeting. Cristina took a huge bite of her sandwich and turned toward her. "Did I tell you? Burke's got a coronary artery bypass graft. He said he'd even let me do most of the work this time."

"Seriously?" Meredith replied, opening her own sandwich.

"Yeah. Sleeping with an attending has gotta have its perks," Alex snickered. "Right, Mer?"

Meredith shrugged. "I got a nineteen-year-old needing a CT scan on his brain."

George's eyes widened. "Yeah? What's the big deal about that?"

"He's got some kind of relationship with Addison."

"What kind of relationship?" Cristina asked, her interest piqued.

Meredith shrugged again. "He wouldn't say. Derek wouldn't say either."

"Shepherd knows him?" Izzie said, leaning forward. "Must be some sort of big deal. Addison wouldn't say a word during that hysterectomy we scrubbed in on." She motioned over to the other side of the cafeteria. "Look at her now."

They all turned around to see Addison sitting off by herself. The red-headed attending pushed her food around on her plate as she stared into the distance, lost in thought.

"Damn," Alex whispered. "I don't think I've ever seen McHot look so…"

"Upset," George finished.

"Look, we've gotta do something," Meredith said, scraping her chair back.

"We? What we?" Cristina protested.

"I'm not gonna leave her like that."

"Since when do you care about Addison Forbes Montgomery?" Alex argued.

Meredith shook her head. "Since I saw the way she looked at that boy. I'll catch up to you guys later." She pushed her chair in and wound her way to where Addison sat dejectedly.

Addison didn't look up as she approached.

"Addison?" Meredith said quietly. Addison still didn't look up, so Meredith said her name louder.

Addison jumped, startled. "Oh, Dr. Grey. Sorry, I was…"

"Yeah." Meredith looked around uncomfortably. "Look, uh, can I sit down?"

The elder surgeon's eyebrows went up for a split second. "Sure."

Meredith pulled out a chair across from Addison and quickly sat down, avoiding eye contact with her colleagues. After a tense silence, she spoke up. "Look, I don't know what your whatever is with Chris Hatcher, but…" she took a deep breath. "If you wanna talk, I'm here."

Addison watched the intern shift uncomfortably in her seat, trying to decide whether to tell her the truth. Meredith had never made this kind of gesture before, and Addison was slightly suspicious. "Derek didn't tell you?"

"He said I should talk to you."

Addison's surprise was evident in the way those eyebrows shot up again. "Well, in that case…"

Meredith leaned forward slightly in anticipation.

"Chris is my best friend's son," Addison said suddenly.

"What?"

"He's the son of my roommate from college." Addison chuckled mirthlessly. "He's also the reason I decided to go neonatal."

"I don't get it."

Addison's face darkened with the memory. "I don't either."

"_Push, Liz!" twenty-year-old Addison winced as Liz gripped her hands even tighter._

"_This really isn't as easy as it looks on TV," Liz panted._

"_It's crowning," the doctor said. "Keep pushing."_

_Liz gritted her teeth and screamed as she tried to push the baby out. "I can't! I can't!"_

_Addison combed her fingers through her friend's sweaty blonde hair. "Yes, you can," she said gently. "You can do it."_

"_Come on, Mrs. Hatcher, just a little more," the doctor added, hands ready to catch the newborn._

_Liz nodded and pushed again._

_The doctor pulled out a mass that resembled a baby. The room was soon filled with its crying. "Congratulations, you have a baby boy!" the doctor exclaimed, handing it off to a nurse to get it cleaned off._

"_You hear that? A boy!" Addison whispered._

"_Addie," Liz whispered, her face sweaty and pale. "I don't feel so good." Her eyes rolled back into her head. Suddenly, blood began gushing out of her body._

"_Liz!" Addison yelled._

_The doctor turned around and swore under his breath. "Her uterus ruptured. Get her to an OR!" he shouted. "And get her out of here!" he motioned to Addison._

"_Liz!" Addison screamed again as one of the nurses began to push her out of the room._

"_We'll take care of her, don't be worried," the nurse said, trying to calm her down. "Just go to the waiting room and we'll let you know."_

_The door shut in Addison's face as she tried to catch a last glimpse of her friend. The heart monitor was going crazy, and the doctor was frantically trying to stop the intense hemorrhaging._

_Addison waited with Rob for what seemed like days. She gripped his hand as he stared worriedly at the tile floor._

"_Mr. Hatcher?"_

_They looked up to see a young nurse standing in front of them, looking tired and pale. "Mr. Hatcher, your son is doing just fine. He's in the Neonatal unit if you want to see him."_

"_My wife," he whispered, standing up. Addison stood with him, her hand still in his. "How's my wife?"_

_The nurse's face grew sober. "We tried everything we could," she said quietly._

_Rob's lip trembled as he struggled to hold back his emotions._

"_Apparently, her uterus and fallopian tubes were unable to take the strain of naturally delivering a baby."_

"_No!" he yelled, tears running from his eyes. He looked Addison in the face, his face red. He put his hands to his head and promptly ran out the door._

_Addison sat down, tears streaming down her own face._

"_Would you like to see the baby?" the nurse asked gently._

_Addison looked up at her and nodded. The nurse put an arm around her shoulder and led her to the neonatal unit. She pointed out Liz's son._

_Wiping tears from her eyes, Addison pressed her face to the glass window separating her from the baby. "Hey there, fella," she whispered. "Don't you worry." Her voice cracked with emotion, and she struggled to continue. "I'm gonna take good care of you. I'm gonna take…" Addison's emotions took over and she sank to the floor. "Oh, Liz," she sobbed as the nurse held her tightly._

Addison looked up to see Meredith's eyes rimmed with tears. "I'm so sorry, Addison," the young surgeon whispered.

Addison shook her head. "It was a long time ago. But I kept my word. Chris's father was never the same after Liz died. Even as a little kid, Chris spent many nights at my apartment. And I made sure that, if I had anything to say about it, nothing like that would ever happen to another woman under my care."

Meredith hesitatingly put her hand on Addison's. "I promise. I'll take really good care of him."

She smiled at her sincerely. "I know you will, Meredith."

"You wanna get in on the CT scan? I'm about to take him there."

Addison wiped a tear from her eyes. "Yeah, I'll, uh, be there in a minute." Meredith smiled at her reassuringly and left.

Addison sighed and held her head in her hands. "I'm gonna take good care of him, Liz," she whispered. "Don't worry. Don't worry."

_**Twice as much ain't twice as good**_

_**And can't sustain like one half could**_


	4. Stay Away From Me

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait, but I haven't had an Internet connection for the past couple of days... :( But here's the latest chapter I have written, and I hope to have the next one up by this weekend. I kinda had problems with the dialogue on this chapter, and it's definitely not one of my favorites, but I'd love to know what you guys think!**

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Meredith smiled reassuringly at Chris as she wheeled him down to Radiology. "Don't worry about it. Shepherd's the best."

Chris smiled back. "He always was."

"You know them pretty well, don't you?"

"Ever since I was a baby. I used to spend days with them at a time when I was little."

"Addison told me a little. What happened to your dad?"

Chris frowned slightly, then grinned again. "He still lives in New York. He's a lawyer. Which is good, because it always kept him out of the house and away from me."

"You didn't want him to be there?"

Chris shook his head. "I reminded him too much of my mom."

Meredith smiled. "From what Addison's told me, you look just like her."

"Addie used to say I had all her same mannerisms. Talk too much, play around, never serious."

Meredith smiled again as she turned his bed into the CT room. "Sounds like she was a wonderful person."

Chris smiled wanly. "Yeah. She sure was."

Meredith gently helped him out of the bed and onto the cold plastic bed that would eventually move into the CT scanner. She covered him with a blanket, making sure he was warm enough in the cold room. "Okay, Dr. Shepherd's going to be monitoring the CT scan from the other room." She motioned toward it, and Derek waved. "Stay very still. It won't take too long."

Derek nodded at Meredith, who pushed a button. Chris's still form slid into the humming machine.

"Hey."

Derek turned around to see Addison leaning against the doorframe. Her beautiful face was weary from worry.

"Hey," he whispered. "You're just in time. We just started." He turned back toward the monitor. After an awkward pause, he glanced up at Addison. "I don't suppose you're still bright and shiny?"

Addison slapped him on the side of the head in reply.

"Just asking." Derek grinned, and Addison softly chuckled. Suddenly, something on the monitor grabbed his eye. He hit a couple of keys, and the screen showed three different views of Chris's cranial cavity. "Damn," he whispered.

"What, what is it?" Addison asked, putting her hand on the back of his chair.

Derek frowned and looked up at her. "It's not good."

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Addison and Derek slowly opened the door to Chris's room. The young man looked up from his book and immediately saw something was wrong. "What?" he asked worriedly.

Addison moved around to the side of his bed and took his hand in hers. "The results of your CT came back," she said quietly as a single tear slipped out.

"What's wrong with me?" he asked, startled by Addison's display of emotion.

Derek took a deep breath. "You have a tumor pressing on your brain stem."

Chris looked back and forth from Addison to Derek. "You mean, like cancer?" Derek nodded, and Addison gripped Chris's hand tighter. He sank back into his pillow. "You can operate, can't you?"

"It's risky. These tumors are aggressive and in a difficult place to get to." Derek paused, not wanting to continue.

Chris clenched his jaw and pushed himself up in the bed, holding Addison's hand tightly. "Don't sugar-coat it, Derek."

"Okay," Derek nodded, taking another deep breath. "If you survive the surgery, you'll have intense chemotherapy and radiation treatments. There's a six-in-ten chance it'll come back again, more aggressively than the first one."

Chris sat back, stunned. "So I'm gonna die before I'm twenty-five?"

"Not necessarily," Addison interjected, wiping tears from her eyes. "Derek's gonna do all he can. Won't you, Derek?"

Derek hesitated, catching Addison's eyes. They implored him to say something positive, something reassuring. "I promise I'll do everything I can." He smiled at Chris and touched Addison on the shoulder. "I'm going to book the OR for tomorrow morning. Call me later?" Addison nodded. Derek left the room, closing the door softly behind him. He saw Meredith standing at the nurses' station, half-heartedly flipping through a chart. He went over to her, and she touched him on the arm gently.

"How did he take it?"

Derek sighed. "Like a man."

Meredith looked through the window of Chris's room. Addison was holding onto his hand tightly, crying. He was fighting to hold back his emotions. "He seems like a good kid."

Derek leaned against the counter and gazed into Chris's room. "He is. He always was."

"Are you going to be able to save him?"

He shook his head. "It's pretty advanced. I don't know…"

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Addison's taking it hard."

"Yeah," he replied simply.

"You gonna let her scrub in?"

"No way. But she'll be watching from the gallery." Derek turned around and grabbed Meredith's hand. "C'mon. They need privacy, and I need a drink."

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Chris lightly put his hand on Addison's head, running his fingers through her red hair. She refused to let go of his other hand as she softly cried into his sheets.

"I never thought," he said, the emotion evident in his voice, "that I would die so soon. There's so much I want to see, to do."

Addison looked up and wiped her eyes. "Don't talk like that. You are not going to die."

"C'mon, Addie. I'm old enough to know. Even if I survive this surgery, there's gonna be more, and it might spread."

"You're not going to die," she repeated, looking him in the eyes. God, he looked so much like Liz. His face looked so calm. "How can you not even care?"

He clenched his jaw and gently lifted Addison's chin. "I'm not scared, Addison."

Addison shook her head in disbelief. "I would be. You're nineteen, Chris. You have a full life ahead of you. How can you not be scared?"

"Don't you think I'm disappointed that I'll never get married, or have kids?" He lightly ran his finger along her jaw line. "But I know where I'm going."

Addison sighed. "How can you be so sure?"

He smiled. "I'm going to see my mom. For the first time in my life, I'm going to meet my mom." Fresh tears ran down his cheeks, and Addison quietly sniffled as tears ran down her own. "That reminds me. I have something to give you before my surgery tomorrow."

Addison cocked an eyebrow, trying to ignore the tears.

"It's in my backpack, over there." He motioned to a black bag on the couch next to the door. "Bring it to me?"

Addison wiped her cheeks and grabbed the bag. She quietly handed to him, and he rummaged through it.

"Ah, here it is." He pulled out a framed picture and handed it to her.

She caught her breath, stunned. It was a picture of her and Liz. Addison was wearing a lavender bridesmaid's dress, and Liz was in a gorgeous wedding dress. They were holding each other tightly, huge smiles gracing both faces.

"I know she would have wanted you to have it."

She shook her head. "I can't take this."

"Sure you can." He smiled. "What do I need it for now?"

Addison chuckled and shook her head. "I promise, Liz," she whispered. "I promise I'll take care of him."

_**Gravity**_

_**Stay the hell away from me**_


	5. Where the Light Is

**A/N: For fair warning, this chapter made me cry as I was writing it, so be prepared for a tear jerker. And (shameless plug), I'm writing a new Grey's story now called "Grace's Amazing Hands", set during World War II, so if history is your thing, check it out. Anyways, hope you guys like this chapter. I really appreciated all the feedback and reviews! Thanks a million! **

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Derek quietly scrubbed his arms and hands, staring at the unconscious young man in his operating room. He had been Chris's surrogate father when Rob basically abandoned him. He had watched the young man grow up, until the Addison and Mark debacle caused Derek to run for the hills. And now, that kind, sweet boy had a terminal brain tumor.

"Derek," a soft female voice broke into his thoughts.

He looked up to see Meredith scrubbing in next to him, looking concerned. "You okay?" she asked.

He inhaled deeply and smiled at her reassuringly. "Yeah." He shut off the water and went into the operating room. Meredith joined him, carefully positioning herself next to the instrument tray.

Derek took a deep breath and looked up into the gallery. Addison sat up there, among the curious interns and hospital administrators. She caught his eye, and he smiled at her behind his mask.

"Okay folks, today is a good day to save lives," he began with his usual mantra. He glanced down at Chris, who looked like he was sleeping peacefully. "Let's get started here."

He held out his hand for the cranial drill, which he used to create the burr holes in Chris's bone flap. "Keep an eye on those vitals," he said, glancing up at the monitor. He carefully and masterfully drilled the last burr hole.

"Craniotome," he said. Meredith slapped the instrument into his hand, and he started it. It filled the room with a soft humming. He methodically cut a hole in the young man's bone flap. The last cut gave way with a dull sound. "Okay," he murmured. He pulled back the skull flap, exposing the brain.

Suddenly, a shrill beeping filled the operating room. Derek looked up at the monitor. "He's fibrillating!" he shouted, lowering Chris's head to the gurney. "Vitals!"

"Blood pressure unreadable," Meredith said, moving to the other side of the table.

"Paddles now!" Derek shouted. Meredith passed him the defibrillator paddles. "Charge to two hundred." Meredith pressed the button on the defibrillator. "Clear!"

Chris's body jumped as Derek sent electricity straight to his heart.

Meredith took over for Derek and began chest compressions. Derek quickly glanced up at the gallery. Addison had a look of utter horror on her face. Derek shook that image from his mind and turned back to the operating table.

"Charge again. Three hundred."

A nurse pushed the button on the machine. "Three hundred, go."

"Clear!"

Derek looked up at the EKG. It showed a single straight line. "Let's go to four hundred!" he shouted. "Clear!" Chris's body jerked again. "Flatline," he muttered. "Two hundred cc's isopyterenol." A nurse handed him the syringe and he slowly pushed it into the IV. "Dammit, come on, Chris," he whispered.

Meredith stared at the EKG as she continued chest compressions. "Beat," she whispered. "Come on, beat, damn you."

Derek stared at the machine. Still no change.

"Derek," Meredith whispered.

He sighed. "Call it." He tore off his gloves and mask in frustration and stomped out of the operating room.

Meredith inhaled deeply. "Time of death, 09:40." She glanced up at the gallery. Addison was gone.

* * *

Two hours later, Addison sadly nursed her martini at Joe's. The kindly bartender had immediately seen her expression and handed her a drink. By the looks of things, she needed one.

Addison glanced up as Meredith quietly sat down beside her. "Beer, please," the younger doctor said softly. Joe slid her bottle across the bar, and Meredith took a sip of the cold drink. "Martinis before lunch, huh?" she quipped.

"It's one of those days."

"You okay?"

Addison hesitated and inhaled sharply. A single tear slipped out and slid down her cheek. "No," she said simply.

Meredith looked at her questioningly. "Okay." She took another sip of her beer as they sat in silence.

"This must be killing you," Addison finally broke the silence.

"When you're ready to talk, I'll listen."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Neither spoke for another couple of minutes.

"You know," Addison finally said, "I spent all last night trying to prepare for this." She shook her head. "And I can't believe…" She took a deep breath, trying to force out the words. "I can't believe that he- he's gone."

"I don't think you can really ever prepare for this kind of thing."

"There's so much I should have said to him and done for him," Addison said, her voice starting to break. "And now, I can't." She sipped her drink. "He's gone, and it's my fault."

Meredith looked at her sharply. "No way is it your fault, Addison."

Addison shook her head. "I promised I'd take care of him. And now he's dead." She finally broke down in sobs, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Meredith placed a gently hand on Addison's heaving shoulders. "You _did_." She smiled as Addison looked at her with mascara running down her face. "You took care of him when no one else would."

Addison sniffled. "I guess so."

"I know so." Meredith smiled at her sadly. "You know, I only got to talk to him briefly, but he seemed like a good kid. And he wouldn't want you to be sad." Meredith reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a sealed envelope. "He gave this to me this morning, in case he…" She stopped and handed it to Addison. "I think you should read it."

Addison slowly reached for the envelope and cradled it in her hands.

The intern smiled at her boss and patted her on the shoulder. "I'll let you read it alone."

"No," Addison said, grabbing her hand. Meredith looked at her in shock. "I want," she said slowly. "I want you to stay here." Meredith smiled and sat back down as Addison slowly tore the envelope open.

_Addie,_ the note said in Chris's scrawling handwriting, _if you're reading this now, something bad happened to me. I know you're going to blame yourself for what's happened, because I know you're like that._ Addison smiled.

_But don't. I'm in a better place now. I meant what I said before, about not being afraid to die. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. I'm with my mom, and I know she's thanking you for taking care of me and loving me._

_You've been like the mom I never had. My entire life, you and Derek were the only constants. I'm grateful for the care and love that you provided, right up to the end. Believe it or not, you shaped me into the person I am today. My existence would have been miserable, had you not been there to kiss my scraped knees and hold me close after a nightmare._

_I just want to ask one small favor. Never, ever forget me. Never, ever forget that I loved you._ Addison glanced up to see tears running down Meredith's cheeks.

_Tell my dad that I loved him. Tell him I'm sorry for all the pain I caused him._

_I remain always and forever, Addie, affectionately yours._

Addison quietly folded up the paper as Meredith wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. "I don't think I could ever forget that boy," Meredith whispered, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Yeah. Me neither."

Addison looked at Meredith and smiled. "Thanks, Grey."

Meredith smiled back. "Any time."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, there's something I have to do."

Meredith smiled and squeezed her shoulder. She grabbed her beer and walked out into the pouring Seattle rain.

Left alone, Addison sighed and pulled out her cell phone. She looked at it for a minute, and then flipped it open and dialed a number she hadn't dialed in a long time. "Hey, Rob?" she said, clutching Chris's letter. "It's Addie. I have something to tell you."

_**Gravity has taken better men than me, how can that be?  
**__**Just keep me where the light is**_


End file.
